Sunday, May 20, 2007

I love my Mama. She is the greatest. At 88 she is slowing down, she can't hear, she pees in her pants because she can't get to the bathroom fast enough. She reluctantly wears adult diapers. (I tell her - "it's OK, even crazy astronauts wear them!") I went for a quick five day visit last week. While in Virginia, I got some things done for her. I took her to the bank and to the podiatrist. I bought her some bright yellow "croc" shoes the previous time I was there. She did not wear them at first, but on this visit she was wearing them all the time and she loves them!





She is not remembering what day it is, so I bought a clock with GREAT BIG numbers and the day, date, and temperature displayed. I put her daily meds in small zip lock bags with the corresponding day of the week printed on them. I told her to take them on the day that she sees on the clock. Both my brothers try to look in on Mom at least once a day, but she really needs someone to look after her full time. We hired a companion to come and take her to the store or hairdresser - whatever she wants. Mom said that the girl came a couple of times but then she called and cancelled her. She didn't like having a stranger in the house. It is clear to us (her kids) that soon she will not be able to live alone. I live in a small house; three bedrooms - four people. I am getting estimates to remodel my attached garage into a room. Then I will bring Mom down to Florida for a while. It may be a permanent arrangement - time will tell. I have told the rest of my family. My roommate, her son, & my son are all on board with it. They are supportive and I know they will help me as much as they can. It must be very scary for my Mom to have to rely on others when she has been so independent for so long.

7 comments:

doubleknot said...

You are a good daughter. It is hard when parents get older. My mother swears she will live in her house by herself till she dies. My sister is in a better situation to take partial care of my mom then I am.
Good luck with your mother. Tell her it is no big deal if you pee your pants at a certain age we all have that problem.

Lainey-Paney said...

Yes, I think it is the loss of independence that is the hardest on the aging population.

Good luck with your plans.
:)

susan said...

Been there done that, good luck with everything, hope all goes well.

Sandy said...

You're a wonderful daughter and it sounds like the time is approaching fast when your mom will have to move in with you. Even though she may protest, it will be fine but you'll find that caring for your mom 24/7 will be a very demanding job. Hope all goes well.

Motherkitty said...

Tuffenuf, I'm sure your mother is so thankful she has you in her life. I know it will be difficult for everyone involved in this decision, but it is the right thing to do. When my dad was at the end of his life, we went up to the Chicago area, packed his stuff and brought him home with us. He only lasted less than four months, but those four months were precious, happy, and good for everyone right up to the last week of his life. I've never regretted the decision and you will feel the same.

As your commenters have said, you ARE a good, loving, and caring daughter. Love the Crocs! (Although I would pick red because that's my favorite color.)

Take care. I'll be thinking of you.

Terri said...

Awww.. you are such a good daughter...

we plan on taking care of our parents as well!! It is in the bible that we care for our parents!

My grandma died last year at the ripe old age of 101...

and she was THE MOST independent woman in the world...
it was sooo hard for her ...
that last year was sad for all of us...
She had lived in the same house for 68 years (I am pretty sure that was the number)...
it was hard for her to give that up and move to an "assisted living" place about 9 years ago.... but then ... that last 9 months or so...
she had to go over to a full fledged nursing home... THAT WAS TOUGH FOR HER.. SHE HATED IT...
(I FELT SOOO BAD FOR HER.. I had offered her to come live with me.. and I'd care for her along w/ Matthew.. but she wouldn't come out...)

I love love love love senior citizens... I always have...
they are just sooo cute and sweet... even when they're a little grumpy and goofy ...

God bless you!

I need to go find this paper that my grandma gave me years ago called "Grandmother's Hands."
You will love it.

Kerri said...

It's easy to see where you get your independant nature from Tuff.
Glad you had a good visit with your mom. Love those shoes!
Your mom raised a fine daughter!
I hope Florida is recovering from the fires. They're a scary thing.