Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Teenage love

My son likes a girl at school. I am thrilled about this because he has always been the shy one, too self-conscious to even talk to girls. It is nice to see him finally coming out of his shell at sixteen. The problem is that this girl is popular and all the guys like her. She hangs around mostly with just three guys, my son included. In this group, my son is the only one that drives and has his own car. They are all in the band, and seem happy just hanging out together. My son confided in me that he likes her more than a friend, but that she does not feel the same. He says that he will just have to be satisfied being friends with her. That is better than nothing. Last Saturday at the band competition I saw the girl with one of the other boys (my son's best friend). They were walking together and he had his arm around her. They were looking like more than "just friends". I hesitated to mention this to my son, even though I wanted to. When we got home that night, he brought it up to me. (I am thrilled that he talks to me about this stuff) He told me that the girl and his best friend had feelings for each other, and that he guessed that they are now "going together". His heart was clearly broken. I told him not to be sad, and that maybe it was better, now he could hang around with more people, not just that little group. I told him that he should not just be their chauffeur, and he agreed with me, that he did not want to be. Sunday the girl called. She wanted to hang out with just Preston that day. Of course, he went right over there. He told me later that she felt bad about breaking up the group by dating just one guy and that she did not want to lose Preston's friendship.
My problem: Is she sincere; or a smooth operator that just doesn't want to lose her taxi?
My advice to him: Be sure to keep the lines of communication open with your best friend. She might be selling you a line of bull!
Of course he thinks that I am just a cynical old lady. He believes that she is a wonderful girl and can do no wrong.
I personally would like to get her alone in a small room and interrogate her - but that is not an option!
Raising teenagers is truly like "nailing jello to a tree"!!!!


susan said...

Oh boy, it has begun! The hormones, the broken hearts (hopefully the girl's).

I will be sending you good thoughts during this trying time. I had girls and it started at age 14. Hopefully boys are easier?

Have fun, enjoy the ride, try not to remember the things you did at this age, and the most important - whatever you say, you will get the eye-roll and unspoken 'what does she know?' look.

Motherkitty said...

I had a boy and a girl. Each had different "problems" with the opposite sex. Son was totally in love with one girl and was totally heart-broken because she rejected him. He never got over it although he never talks about her and he is married to someone else. I see her occasionally and think that she was a real stinker for not ever going out with my gorgeous and intelligent son.

My daughter was another story. She fell in love with my son's best friend and they went together from age 16 through college then he dumped her (why, I don't know but I was glad).

I just hope your son doesn't get his heart broken. He should be having the time of his life right now and enjoying himself.

I feel sorry for you and for your increased car insurance with a 16 y/o driver in the house. Been there, done that.

Texas2Tennessee said...

Oh's time to face reality...the days when you can protect them from getting hurt is over. You are now in the league beyond scraped knees and elbows. Read your masthead and live it...I know it's hard, but he'll learn so much more getting heartbroken now, than later.

Been there...have the t-shirt...don't want to ever watch them go through that again.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Better they get their hearts broken now than later. It's a tough age for them with hormones raging. Just be there when they want to talk, but realize that soon they will look at you like you don't know anything.

Joann said...

I feel your pain.

Kerri said...

Ah sons....yes mine was definitely an easier teenager than the daughters (and I thought he would be the hard one). It's so nice when they'll confide in you and very tough when their hearts are broken (son or daughter). I had a chuckle at you wanting to interrogate her in a small room :) It's hard not to be skeptical!
A listening ear and a loving mom will help ease the broken heart, I'm sure, and there will be other girls, worthy of his affection.