Next month makes two years of retirement. I am glad that I am still alive, I did not expect to survive this long. Now I am hopeful that I can make it ten more years at least, I am not so scared everyday anymore. Sometimes it feels like a long vacation, like I should be going back to work. When my health is really good, and it has been lately, I almost feel quilty for not working. Now, don't get me wrong, I have plenty to do, but it is mostly housework and chores. When my line of duty disability was approved, I walked away and didn't look back. I have talked to a few of my friends, but for the most part, I have had no contact with anyone from the PD. I don't miss always having to be teathered to my pager. I don't miss the phone calls in the middle of the night. I don't miss the lights & siren trips out to a crime scene. Occasionally, I miss solving a case, comforting a victim, tricking a suspect into confessing. Maybe I should be a "consultant" (or even better - a "sultan".) It is weird to miss a job, but after 25 years, I got comfortable with it, I felt like I was good at it. Now it is just a memory. When I was a young cop, old farts used to come up to me and tell me that they used to be "on the job". I hope I never do that!