Friday, February 03, 2006
Crime scenes re-visited
I took an early disability retirement in 2004 because of cardiac problems. During the extensive medical examination to determine if I was disabled, the doctor told me that I have post tramatic stress disorder. At the time, I sort of dismissed this diagnosis as "crap". PTSD in my mind, was something that soldiers got after being in heavy combat. You know, they jump when a firecracker goes off behind them. My problem was different, I had sleep difficulty. I kept dreaming about my cases, and after a while, I wasn't getting much sleep. A slide show of all my cases would play over and over in my head. I took the medication prescribed by the doctor for this, and it seemed to go away. I took the meds for about six months, then quit, just one more medication I didn't think I needed. It worked. I was sleeping better and no further symptoms. Yesterday, I was driving in my car, and I started thinking about one of my cases. It is weird, I guess they will always be with me. Maybe the doctor was right, I do have PTSD. So far it hasn't effected my sleep again. Just like my cardiac problems, this is something I will have to live with. I guess it is really the least of my problems!