Tree house

Reading Susan's recent post made me think back to the time when the "moms" built a tree house for the "boys" several years ago. We thought that they would spend hours playing in their new fort. Preston was up there about twice before he discovered that there were spiders in the oak tree, and that was the end of that! Matthew played up there a few times too, but not nearly as much as I thought he would. I discovered that it is better to let the boys do their own thing. Sometimes a discarded cardboard box is the best play fort, and a hell of a lot cheaper! The tree house was up for about a year and a half before we tore it down. In this photo, Preston is in the house right before demolition began. Notice he is not touching anything in there, still scared of spiders!

"Hemi"

what a difference a haircut makes!

The way I see it. . . .

As I read the news and see the television reports, I don't know how much longer we will survive as a civilization. There seems to be so much unrest, fighting, and poverty. It is so depressing. Since I retired about 15 years before I expected too, I thought that the rest of my life would be stress free. I envisioned myself traveling around the country, pulling my travel trailer, care free. It looks like that is not a possibility unless a bring a wheelbarrow full of cash to pay for gas. It is kind of sad that we spend so much energy arguing and fighting. Our time would be so much better spent finding disease cures, looking for alternative fuel sources, helping the poverty stricken people. Instead the leaders and politicians run the world pursuing their own agendas, with no regard for the other guy and his opinion. I have always considered myself an optimist, but lately the whole state of the world has me really "down". The sad thing is that I really don't know what to do about it. Write my congressman? No one seems to care unless it is around election time. When I look at history, even in my short lifetime, I see other dire times when it looked like the end of the world was in sight. Maybe the world has always been this way, but now, more than ever before, it looks to me like we are on the brink of disaster.

Six weird things

I was tagged by Doubleknot to list 6 weird things about myself. Doubleknot said, "I know you are perfectly normal". HA! We will see!

1. I am a technical nut, I like any and all techie stuff.

2. I am WAY older than the young person inside my mind.

3.I am teaching myself to play the trumpet, and no one in my household knows this, I practice when I am home alone!

4. Now that I am retired and home alot, my three dogs are my new best friends!

5. I am so mechanical that I can take anything apart and put it back together.

6. I feel extraordinarily close to my "bloggie" friends.

Pain in the Neck

It took me several weeks to figure this out. I have had a pain in the muscle in the back (left side) of my neck. I kept thinking that I was "sleeping wrong" so I made an extra effort to place my pillows just right, and sleep on the non-affected side. Nothing helped, every morning I woke up, sometimes so stiff that I couldn't turn my head. I even considered going to the doctor. I like to figure things out on my own first, so when I visit the doctor, I can make my own diagnosis - then he can just agree with me! I am so glad I didn't go to the doc for this. It turns out that the pain in my neck is YOUR fault. Yes, that's right, it is because of you. Reading your blogs late into the night when I am sleepy has caused me to prop my chin on my left hand, with my elbow propped on the desk. I navigate thru the blogs with my right hand on the mouse, while I inadvertently hyper-extend my neck muscle by propping my head up! Pretty pitiful, I can't even hold up my own head! I have made an extra effort since I discovered this dilema to sit up straight and concentrate on correct posture. If you happen to see me propping my head, you have my permission to slap me out of this chair!

LIAR!

Most people think that the police do not/ can not / will not lie to them. Nothing could be further from the truth! The police are allowed to lie, it is covered by statute. They lie to get confessions, and it is perfectly legal. They just can't make promises to coerce a confession. One of the things I used to do with a burglary suspect is leave the interview room and get some generic fingerprint lift cards from an unrelated crime scene. I would come back into the room, throw the fingerprint cards down on the table, and simply say, "Who do you think these prints belong to?" Then I would leave again. Of course suspects are NEVER alone while at the police station, and I would go into the next room and watch through the two-way mirror. Usually a guilty suspect couldn't help looking at the cards. He would pick up the cards to see how clear the print lifts were, and even look at his own fingers to see if they compared. It was funny, a game of cat and mouse. Another thing I used to do is play the "What if I told you" game. It works like this, I would say to the suspect - "What if I told you someone saw you in that neighborhood?" (note: I did not say that someone did actually see them) Of course these sneaky tactics were meant to solict a confession from the guilty or absolve the innocent. If you are ever in police custody, remember, everything you do and say CAN be held against you. So shut up! Remember your right to remain silent. Let the evidence show your guilt or innocence. Lucky for me, everyone always wanted to talk.

Retirement is good!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Thanks Bob!

No wonder. . .

. . .everyone hates to learn English. Note: if Chocolatebox reads these, she may give up trying to learn this language!

We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

The soldier decided to desert in the desert.

This was a good time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

I read it once and will read it again. (yes, you will!)

I learned much from this learned treatise.

I was content to note the content of the message.

The Blessed Virgin blessed her. Blessed her richly.

It's a bit wicked to over-trim a short wicked candle.

If he will absent himself we mark him absent.

I incline toward bypassing the incline.

thanks to "BOB"

Guess who?

I heard a "tap-tap-tapping" at my door this morning. I captured this photo outside in the garden. Could it be...??????

Remembering

April 1st marks the second anniversary of my friends death. Jody is missed by her friends and family. The "biting" grief is starting to subside, giving way to sweet remembrances. We always had fun, even at work in the throws of a serious case. Jody was a "crimes against children" detective. This is a specialized area for a detective that only investigates crimes with juvenile victims. In sexual abuse cases the job involves emotional interviews of traumatized children. Often times these cases lack of any physical evidence. Sometimes it is frustrating work, because you know that a crime has occurred, but there is not enough evidence to make an arrest. The way it works is that the lead detective will make the case, then three or four of us would go in for the actual arrest. Child sexual battery offenders have a lot to lose if they are caught and prosecuted. In Florida these offenses are "capital felonies", meaning they can get life in prison if convicted. I remember a particular case of a multi-victim offender that Jody finally got the goods on. Jody's husband, (who was my detective-partner), another plain clothes detective and I went along with Jody for the arrest. We parked on the next block and had a marked unit standing by to take the bad guy to jail. We were sneaking up the block approaching the offender's house, when Jody wispered, "Does anyone have handcuffs?" Everyone stopped and looked at each other, no one replied. Finally I said, "What would you people do if I wasn't such a boyscout?" I produced some handcuffs from my jacket pocket! It is difficult to carry all the cop tools when you are in plain clothes. You have to keep a gun, extra ammo, badge, handcuffs and a two way radio - all concealed! Detectives start to get complacent and keep this stuff under the seat in the car. I stopped carrying a purse and started wearing a shoulder holster many years ago. You know how you have to sometimes "dump out your purse" looking for something. Imagine trying to find your gun and handcuffs! When a bad guy threatens you, you don't have the time to say, "hang on a minute, it is right here in my purse somewhere!!!" Anyway, we got the creep arrested, and convicted. Jody never has to deal with these "scum of the earth" offenders anymore. She put many of them in jail. Job well done, Jody - Rest in peace.

Long ago

My "bloggie" friend "Jellyhead's" recent post reminded me of long ago and far away, back when I was a child. We don't recall these times near enough. My dad died when I was 23, a long time ago. I didn't have near enough time with him. I am, however, blessed with many childhood memories. Dad used to read to us every night at bedtime. He like poetry, and we would always ask for "Casey at the Bat", a baseball poem that my brother loved. My favorite was the "Owl and the Pussycat". After all this time, I think I can still remember it. It goes something like this:

The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
in a beautiful pea green boat.
They took some honey and plenty of money
wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above and sang to a small guitar,
"Oh lovely Pussy, Oh Pussy my love, what a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, what a beautiful Pussy you are!"
Said Puss to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,
how charmingly sweet you sing,
oh let us be married, too long we have tarried,
but what shall we do for a ring?".
So they sailed away for a year and a day to the land where the bong trees grow,
and there in the wood, a piggy-wig stood,
with a ring on the end of his nose -his nose-
with a ring on the end of his nose.
Said Owl to the pig, "Are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?" Said the piggy, "I will!"
So they took it away and were married next day
by the turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mints, and slices of quints,
which they ate with a runcible spoon.
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
they danced by the light of the moon -the moon-
they danced by the light of the moon!

That was from memory, so I hope I remembered it all, forty years is a long time ago.

Mo.. money

I got a big income tax return this year. I decided not to squander the money, instead I will spend it on stuff for my house. I bought this new light for the dining room. We had a perfectly good light and ceiling fan. We hardly ever used the fan, because it was too cool over the table. I like my food to be HOT when I eat it! I saw this light and I really like stained glass, so I got it. I also called the door man to install one of those decorative doors. Instead of buying a whole new front door, they cut out the center of the existing door, and put decorative windowpane glass in it. I have a small house, so I like to make it as unique and nice as I can. I have a lot more spring projects to keep me busy. More later, I am off to the home improvement store to spend more money!

Florida Aquarium

Yesterday we went to the Florida Aquarium in Tampa. I am familiar with many species of aquatic life, living in a state surrounded by water, but I had never seen anything like this. This is a "Leafy Sea Dragon" It looks sort of like a sea horse with leaves! What an interesting animal. The leaves do not act as fins to stear the animal, but are just for camouflage. He moves by means of a tiny little transparent fin on his back. This animal is native to Australia. This is the first time I have observed one of them - I could have stayed and watched him all day. Facinating!

Sweet 16

Today was my son's 16th birthday. I find it so hard to believe. Time has gone by in a flash. Wasn't he just learning to talk, walk, go to the potty? Wasn't that just yesterday? He is a wonderful son, I love him so much, I am so proud of him. I remember the first "joke" he told. He was about 2 years old, around Christmas time. He was looking out the window as we were riding in the car, he said, "Mommy, see those birds sitting on the wire?" "They are holding on with their foot claws, not their santa claus." That was the beginning of the wise guy comments! He is naturally funny. Today he had three of his teenage friends come to the house for a couple of hours. They sat around and laughed and joked and played video games. He was embarassed that I put up a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" banner, but I refused to take it down. They all had cake and ice cream, but we didn't DARE sing the birthday song!

Detective Sergeant Retired

I finally cleaned out my locker the other night. I have been retired since February 2004, so it was about time! I have just avoided going out there for a long time. I did not want to run into some of the people that opposed my disability retirement. You see, I got an "in the line of duty" retirement, and some people disagreed with that. The law in the State of Florida asserts that if you did not have heart disease when you started your law enforcement job, and you got it - then it is presumed to have been caused by the job, thus a line of duty disability. The retirement board fought me "tooth & nail" and I was quite put off by that. I was always willing to "lay down my life" if required for my job. It hurt my feelings that no one stood up for me. As long as I was doing the job, being on call 24-7, then they were happy with me. Once I was of no further use to them, they turned their backs on me. My fault too, a job is just a job, and you should never get so involved that you take things personally. When I drove out to the PD, it was like old times when I used to get called out in the night for a major incident. It was late, and there wasn't much traffic, it only took about 20 minutes to get there. I could not find the duty officer, so I drove around using my detective skills to find him (find the all night coffee, find the cop). Sure enough, he was at the all night store commiserating with the cops of the adjacent jurisdiction. It was like old times, everyone was glad to see me. I could fall right back into the cop shop thing very easily. My heart won't let me though. As I cleaned out my locker of change of clothes, bullet proof vest, various tooth brushes, hair brushes, soap, towel, shoe polish, etc., I thought about how prepared I always was for any situation - to stay there for days if need be. I should have been more prepared for the inevitability of an accident or disability. In thinking about any career, you should remember this little poem that I found;
Take your hand and stick it in a bucket of water up to the wrist, then take it out and the hole that remains is a measure of how you'll be missed!

How about this?

Can You Read This?

I Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

Progress

I used to live somewhat in the country. I am two miles or so east of the interstate highway, and most of the population is west of the interstate, closer to the Gulf of Mexico. The area is beautiful, and I have live here over half my life. Lately, there is new development all around me. 800 acres of land around my small neighborhood has now been sold and is being developed. Once it was quiet here, now everyday I hear the sound of heavy machinery. They are building roads, moving dirt around, preparing lots for the new homes. I took a walk back into the new neighborhood the other day. It is amazing vast. I could see for miles back into what used to be a heavily wooded area. Every tree is gone, replaced by miles and miles of new paved roads. I am not against progress, but it is still kind of sad. Over 1,000 people a day are moving to Florida, so I guess we have to put them somewhere. I wonder what happend to all the animals that made the woods their home. There are foxes, opossoms, red-tail hawks, bob-cats and many other animals that have been displaced. I will take my camera next time I go, so I can post some photos.

Studying Australia

Studying other countries is my most recent hobby, probably because of Google Earth.

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humor.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV,how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them inBrisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

I can't stop looking!

If you haven't been to Google Earth yet, you need to go there. I love it. I can't stop looking around. Flying all over the world, looking at places that I have only read about. I remember more about Geography class than I thought. Some of the places are vague, you can just see the basics, but other places are so complete that you can see cars and people on the street! I can see my house on Google Earth, that is amazing! Just plug in your address to the search and see what comes up. Tonight I went to Rome, Paris, Japan, Australia, and New York City. I get lost looking for landmarks that I know. Before I know it, it is way past bedtime and I am computer weary! If you feel closer to me now, it is because I "buzzed" over your neighborhood last night!

New doggie door

Over the past weekend I put a new doggie door in the back screen porch. They already had a flap to go out to the porch, now they can go all the way out by themselves. Now I hear the sound of "flap-flap" then "flap-flap" again and again, as they practice going in and out of their new door.



Buddy says, "I like it OK, but I would rather stay outside."